I was in a committed relationship with Haagen Dazs

Haagen Dazs and I were two steps away from jumping the broom. And by two steps, I mean I was packing my bags for the honeymoon.

Work was just that…work. It became a prison to me. I felt like I was doing time. No excitement, no real opportunity for growth and nothing to smile about. Sure, I was thankful to have a job but some days — actually most days — I couldn’t tell you how I made it to or through work.

Sound familiar?

I felt sad. I felt angry. I felt unappreciated. I felt disrespected. I felt stuck.

But when I went home, I found solace in my new relationship. Haagen Dazs was a good looking, slick-talking, charming son of a gun.

No matter what happened, Haagen Dazs was there. And he always seemed to know what I needed, when I needed it.

He was ‘Coffee’ when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

He was ‘Caramel Cone’ anytime I was angered beyond measure.

And he became ‘Java Chip’ when I felt alone.

I felt a connection and that’s when I knew I had a problem. The relationship was soooo unhealthy. I was turning to HD morning, noon and night! I didn’t see anyone else. I began justifying the relationship with phrases like…”I had a hard day”, and “I deserve a little happiness”.

But 25lbs later and one hard look in the mirror made the truth obvious…

I had to break up with Haagen Dazs!

The time had come for me to deal with my pain. I could no longer placate my pain with Haagen Dazs. I won’t lie to you…there were some tough conversations and quite a few tears. But in the end, I chose power over pain.

Yes — things at work were not picture perfect. Toxicity was peaking around every corner. But learning that I had a choice in how I approached each day was powerful. Accepting that I am, always have been and always will be amazing breathed new life in me.

So I chose me. And showing up each day as the best Latonya Denise is how I will maintain my power.

Which will you choose — pain or power?